A Matter of the Heart

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Apostolic, Christian, inner strength, Inspiration, Jesus Christ, Personal Development, Personal Growth, self development, self renewal, Women

I think it is interesting how we construct defenses.

We say, “What others think don’t matter; only what God thinks matters.” Yada, yada.
Truth is it does matter what people think. We all want to be well thought of, approved of others. It matters what the employer or supervisor thinks, what the professor thinks, what that person we admire or crush on thinks, what our spouse and children think, what the person who shows indifference, disrespect, insensitivity towards us thinks. If it didn’t matter, we would not need to respond to it, have it dictate our behavior or introspection.
It is toward people who we claim do not matter (but they do), that we throw out such disclaimer. Persons who exclude us, don’t consider us, disregard or ignore us. The ‘haters’, persons who do not support or celebrate us, do not condone our behavior, or laud our every endeavor. It is of those people that we say, it doesn’t matter, I don’t care. But the attention and response to the opinion of those persons is a clear indicator that we do indeed care.

I guess this interests me because I relate to it so well. I notice sarcastic graphics and posts surface in the FB TL quite often raising the walls of defense. When I see them, I think – the time and attention given to the things and people who do not matter is really amusing. The constant lashing out or buffering from things that do not matter … Why? Because they do.  The responses are erected like cement but really have a soft clay base needing the Refiner’s fire.

What we really need to pay attention to is why, why a response. The question to ask, ‘What is it in me, my inward sensibility that makes me respond and defend against the offenses of people and things that ‘do not matter’?’ Until we answer that question, we will continue to falsely accuse others of what is lacking within ourselves.

Reality check.

Growth and maturity becomes more evident within ourselves when we accept responsibility for who we are, where we need to grow, where we need to change and then do the necessary work to become that person. A person who is not always on defense, but one of a self-awareness that is nurturing and healthy, one who gives light, life and love from a transformed heart, mind and essence that is renewed daily by the love of God.

When we go to God with the broken pieces of ourselves, He really does put them back together. We must give Him ALL the pieces, confess our heart and He promises, “Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” ~ Ezekiel 36:26

Quitting Before You Get Started

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adversity, Apostolic, Christian, Education, faith, Fear, future, Goals, health, inner strength, Inspiration, Motivation, Overcoming, Personal Development, Personal Growth, self development, self renewal, Teaching, Women

Fear of failing held me hostage for an eternity. I finally realized it was just an excuse (filled with corruption). The battle is in our minds, right. That’s a lesson we know all too well. The voices and ‘stinking thinking’ that derail our efforts and successes shout so loudly that we shut down under the weight of contemptible excuses.
This writing is just a response to the voices and ‘stinking thinking’, SIT DOWN AND HUSH!
My sister-friend said she is withholding from beginning a healthy eating discipline because she fears failing. My Bishop Charles William Watkins (In Heaven) always taught us, “You’re never a failure until you stop trying.” But what if you never even TRY?!
I can only share my own experience of my still unyielding battle with healthy eating choices and weight loss. So many other things in life too, fearing I would not succeed so not even trying. Fortunately, though, I’ve enjoyed some successes just by taking the first step.
I finally went to the dentist after nearly half my life to rid my body of toxins that could kill me. That was a life-changing experience for me. Oral health and a never-before seen beautiful smile that increased my confidence and self-love. Then I applied to college at age 50, enrolled in my first course, pursued my undergraduate degree, completed my B.A. and walked across that stage at age 55 with all the memorable Pomp and Circumstance … a dream realized for myself.
But this weight! It seemed insurmountable. I read what to do. I knew what to do. I went to Zumba. I consutled with a Nutrition Coach. But mostly I kept eating poorly (cake and potatoes several times a day), exercising sporadically (not really) and drinking wonderul delicious lattes … because I feared failing. I’m convinced too that there are underlying constructs that feed into our food dependencies. (That’s a subject for another writing.)
My time came though, this year!
I decided at the beginning of the year, this would be my year. I asked what am I going to do this year, what am I going to focus on and the response was ‘Me’. The Daniel Fast was still a thought looming in my head from last year. I bought the book, read the book, but I didn’t do it. This time (timing is everything), I was fed up with how I felt, how I looked, the whole dilemma. January 5, 2014 was my day, the Lord has and continues to be my guide and strength and I haven’t looked back.
“Faith is taking the first step when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
EVERY DAY, I’m taking first steps.
Do it with me, squash the fear.
Just by taking the first step, you already WIN!
#winning

Don’t Feed Your Emotions With Food

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Apostolic, Children, Christian, Education, faith, Family, future, Goals, health, Motivation, Overcoming, Personal Development, Personal Growth, self development, self renewal, Teaching, Women

My Son-in-Love said the most profound thing the other day …
We were driving home and his baby daughter, Astrid, was crying so her Mom offered her a potato chip.
Her Dad said to her, “Astrid, don’t feed your emotions with food.”
She’s only 16 mos old but that lesson, even now while she is young, is a critical one that I can relate to. He offered some alternative ways she should comfort her emotions but that statement was like a sonic boom to me. What a great lesson. I pray he keeps teaching her and she learns it well.
I know I’m an emotional eater. Eat when I’m happy, eat when I’m anxious, eat when I’m sad. The downfall is that it is usually unhealthy food that we choose to comfort us or that we choose to celebrate a happy time.
I’ve been on a healthy eating journey for 10 weeks and the same patterns persist. When my emotional equilibrium is off kilter, reach for something to satisfy. Fortunately, I now reach for a piece of fruit or some nuts. The point, however, is that behavior or mindset that has to be unlearned or never taught or developed. I remember teaching a Women’s Sunday School lesson many years ago about not letting our emotions control us but using them to our advantage. I wish I could find my notes from that now.
Generally though, we are slaves to our emotions, making bad decisions, being impulsive and irrational, not listening to what we know to be true and good, not listening to God. We are driven by them. We must reign them in. Like all binding, smothering strongholds of our lives, we must bring our emotions under subjection to more holistic thoughts of truth and faith. The battle is in the mind, our thought processes which act as a power surge to our emotions. So we have to constantly combat with God’s Word, His promises, positivity, healthy influences and environments, and learning. While learning, get understanding, apply wisdom, GROW. Constantly, consistently, persistently doing battle with perseverance and tenacity to not give up, but to WIN.
So Dominic is teaching Astrid well and his Mom-in-Love too.
Let your emotions work for you so that you will have VICTORY.
Philippians 4:7-9 ~
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

Do Not Feed The Seagulls

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Apostolic, Christian, hope, inner strength, Inspiration, Jesus Christ, Overcoming, Personal Growth, Trusting God, Women

My Daughter-in-Love-to-Be bought me this beautiful book for Christmas, “Devotions for the Beach”. I love it. All of the devotions relate somehow to the beach which I love (Victoria knows that).
The devotion I read last night gripped me with its crystal clear analogy of seagulls and insecurities.
I could see the visual because it happened to me a couple summers ago at Cleveland’s North Coast Harbor.
I didn’t intentionally feed the seagulls, but I think a crumb dropped from my bag, I can’t recall.
Somehow though there was food, a speck, in front of me and then they started to descend from no where and squeal.
What the writer was saying in the devotion is that insecurities are like seagulls.
When you feed them they crowd you and follow you.
Specifically, she writes, “Insecurities are like seagulls. In a way, they identify where you are in your spiritual journey, and they reinforce your humanity.” When you entertain them, they grow and when you try to run from them, they follow … just like seagulls. Don’t feed them, the seagulls nor your insecurities.
I know this is true, I can relate so well because my insecurities bound me to my sofa for so many years of my adult life. How liberating it was to finally be free of all the craziness in my mind and emotions, to finally say this is it, I’m going to live. Thankful for that day and every Word that God sent to empower me and build me up to the place where I am now, not totally free from the seagulls of my emotions, but more aware. When my insecurities descend upon me, I have more fight in me now and I don’t blame it on someone else or some other thing, I take hold of it and give proper place to it so that those seagulls do not bind me.
The promises of the Lord are sure. We can trust Him to deliver us because He Is a Deliverer.
My friend, He can transform your life but it takes real desire and real surrender.
Don’t miss your God-moment with Him. *Q

Motherhood Is A Gift

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Children, Christian, faith, Family, Goals, Marriage, Parenting, Personal Growth, Prayer, Purpose, Trusting God, Women

One day I came across Lisa-Jo Baker’s blog and I’ve been following ever since. I even link up with a community of bloggers who write from a word prompt she randomly chooses in what she calls Five Minute Friday. I love her writing. She does it so fluently with inspiration and sheer God-giftedness.

“I think you’re braver than you think.
And that motherhood should come with a superhero cape.
I blog about it over at http://www.lisajobaker.com”

Lisa-Jo, in her blogs, celebrates and encourages Mothers[hood] dubbing them “Super Heroes”. Her young children are adorable and the photos she posts of them tell stories that need no words, that is what I know to be ‘good photojournalism’. I read as Lisa-Jo writes about the joys and challenges of mothering and molding the lives of her young gifts, having a career, being a wife, and managing life in general. Her plate is full and spilling off the edges a lot of days.

Being a mother of three adult children and now a grandmother of two granddaughters (bka LoveJoys), I read the Gypsy Momma’s writings and I reflect. When I read her blog this morning, http://lisajobaker.com/2013/09/the-one-where-im-a-working-mom, I was inspired to write my own reflection.

“Children are the anchors that hold a Mother to life.” ~ Sophocles

So rewind over thirty years. It is not that easy any more to recapture all those moments. Thank God for photos that etch memories in our minds and hearts. My oldest son will be 34 in a couple weeks, my second son is 31, and my baby girl is 29.

“Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward.” ~ Psalm 127:3

I love how Lisa-Jo says, “Each family has to find its own way through …” That is so true, marriage and parenting is unique to the family that God designs. So many elements play into each journey. As what I believe to be most significant to everything we do and experience in life, Christ, at the center is the defining factor. Christ as the nucleus of a family guides each individual and the collective along the adventure of parenting.

What I remember to be critical to my experience as a young mother was my faith-grounded marriage and my husband who was and continues to be a superb father. (He had the best example in his own father and Godly mentors.) Also, a support system of family, both naturally and spiritually. I too worked outside the home since my oldest son was a year old and aside from the time granted for maternity leave, I have always worked at a job where I still work. In retrospect, it was God Who enabled me to have a blessed (not perfect) marriage, raise my children, maintain my home, work, and serve in my church.

Motherhood is really a beautiful gift from God.
It is not easy, but it is so rewarding.
Even through the challenges and hard lessons, the midnights and nightmares, the right decisions and the not-so-right decisions. Through every phase, the “Am I doing it right” of infancy, terrible twos, discovery schooling years, moodiness of adolescence, and the right-of-passage of young adulthood, somehow you keep gaining and winning, but never quite finishing because parenting and motherhood never ends. It just evolves.

To young mothers, I encourage you and celebrate you. I’m cheering you on because you can do it. Put your Super Hero cape on each day, PRAY and TRUST GOD to give you the wisdom, strength, direction, resources, and support you need to be the best Mother you can be.
He will do it.

“Her children arise up, and call her blessed; …” ~ Proverbs 31:28

Whatsoever Things Are TRUE

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Christian, Self-Expression, Social Media, Trusting God, Truth, Women

Five Minute Friday: TRUE
Linking to http://lisajobaker.com/five-minute-friday/

Whatsoever Things Are TRUE

Authentic.
Transparent.
True.
We live in a time of disconnected relationships, false pretense, distance, guardedness and so much opposite of True.
That is the truth.
I know it because I feel it. I live it.
I’m willing to share only so much on the social platforms and megaphones of worldwide-ness. Even in my blogging, I endeavor to express my thoughts in a way that share my heart without bleeding my life to the world. It isn’t safe.
Privacy, security, they’re all blown to the wind, nothing is sacred. Judgments are made, misguidance is staged, integrity is questioned, mean verbiage is pitched … all through the grey areas of tweets, posts, social media lurkers and stalkers. The irresponsibility of it all has distorted the view of True.
It’s too bad, but True.
True … I’m not perfect, no one is … Only Jesus.
True … I need Him more than life itself.
True … Nothing else really matters.

Philippians 4
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

The Liberated YOU

Tags

adversity, Fear, inner strength, Motivation, Overcoming, Personal Growth, self confidence, self development, self renewal, Women

Tragically, we hold on to offenses like a security blanket or badge of honor. They become a wall of imprisonment and isolation that produces nothing but insecurity and self-doubt. They become our EXCUSE for not being all WE ALREADY ARE (Thanks, Karla M. Randall of SHINE).
Excuses are essentially filled with corruption (an undeniable lesson I learned from my Pastor, Bishop C. Wayne Brantley). Things people have done, said, thought, or we perceived to be so without truly knowing, like sandpaper they rub away at our existence and ability to live and move as the LIBERATED ‘Me’ and ‘YOU’ Christ gave His life for us to be.
At some point, like a growing, maturing, developing toddler, in our life and in our walk with Christ, we must let go of the security blankets, the crutches, the hiding, the shrinking, the excuses.
At some point, through maturation, we must DECIDE, we don’t need the false constructs that we lean upon or hide behind.
Then, at that transformative moment …
“Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage. ~ Galatians 5:1
Because when we’re FREE, we can fly.

Take those broken wings and learn to FLY. Soar above the turbulence of instability and imbalances because above the clouds of what was done, said, thought, or perceived is a crisp clear realm of limitless, boundless, unshackled, unrestrained, LIBERATED YOU!
LIVE IN THAT REALM! *Q

Home Is A Sanctuary

Tags

Family, love, Marriage, Ministry, Teaching, Women, worship

Five Minute Friday, where a community of bloggers write on the same topic … 1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. 2. Link back and invite others to join in, http://lisajobaker.com/five-minute-friday/. 3. Visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community…OK, are you ready? Please give us your best five minutes on: HOME

“Every wise woman buildeth her house …” (makes it a HOME):

I strive everyday to make my home a sanctuary, a safe haven, an abiding solace.

Our Pastor teaches us that the husband is the priest of the home, but the wife is the heart of the home. I take great pride in my role as a wife, mother and homemaker.

We’ve been married for nearly 35 yaers. Our first home was a one-bedroom apartment, then a rented house, several rented houses, then home ownership. We became empty nesters, umm, can’t remember how long ago now. Our joys went off to college, became independent adults, started to make their own dreams. Three years ago, we decided to downsize, so we settled into a penthouse suite in a property on Lake Erie.

When my Love comes home from a long day and evening of work, ministry and service, he comes home to a sanctuary where he can rest his mind, spirit, and body … an abiding solace.

Titus 2 teaches us to be chaste housekeepers, Proverbs 31 celebrates the woman who looketh well to the ways of her household.

As wives, mothers, and single independent women, whether career women (which most of us are), including home/family managers or women of ministry, a valuable lesson I learned long ago is that “ministry begins at home”. Home, marriage and family is our first ministry.

My home is a sanctuary, a place where my family and my God can find an abiding solace.

The home should be the treasure chest of living. ~ Le Corbusier

Where we love is home – home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Pray with me … Lord, abide with us, make our home a sanctuary.

Self-Doubt, The Undercover Saboteur

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Christian, destiny, dreams, Education, Fear, Goals, inner strength, Inspiration, Marriage, Ministry, Motivation, Overcoming, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Purpose, self confidence, self renewal, self respect, Women, Youth

“I’m through accepting limits ‘Cause someone says they’re so.”

~ Wicked (The Musical)

 

Self-Doubt! We all experience it in this fragile life.

 

It lurks about, waiting in the wings of our life for the moment when we are unsure or perhaps unprepared. It pounces upon us when we let the opinion of others define the opinion we have of ourselves.  When we suspect (without knowing) that we won’t be received or that our plan might fail. For so long voices have needled, in today’s urban vernacular, “stay in your lane”.  On repeat, we hear you are not the leader, the minister, the older sibling, the college graduate, the articulate one, the charismatic one, the popular one, the preferred one, the pretty one, you’re not the one.  These proclamations become aquifers saturated with self-doubt, but we are not aware.

 

What does this saboteur of self-doubt do? It amplifies our weaknesses, instead of our strengths; it blinds us to our potential, it snuffs out our creativity, it is wounding, but we are not aware.  Many writers agree this saboteur of self-doubt is a learned emotion, framed by experience. I agree.

 

I’m tired of it. Everyday I fight against it. In my home, my church, my classroom, my office, but mostly in my mind, in the brain-grooves of my existence. I’m tried of it in others too, especially those whom I value and know their struggle.  It took me nearly half my life to clasp hold to my sense of self, to realize that self-doubt only chips away at my wholeness and robs me of my joy, my belonging, my ability, my reality.

 

So to myself and to you, a reminder … the other voices, opinions, perceptions don’t matter. You are the only dictionary that defines you. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters.  What others think of you, whether good or bad, it is not about you, it is about them. I know it is a fight everyday, but we must fight. Every day, stand in the ring with self-doubt and give it the KO.

 

SPEAK … Eliza Kazan said, “I spoke without fear of contradiction. I simply did not suffer self-doubt.”

KNOW … “The (wo)man who has confidence in himself gain the confidence of others.” — Hasidic Saying

DO … “If you hear a voice within you say, “you cannot paint”, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” — Vincent van Gogh

BE … “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” — Anais Nin

 

I challenge you to do something for yourself to break the grip of self-doubt, something ignited by your passion and purpose, that gives you your own achievement and success.  Do things you enjoy to feed the value system you have of yourself. Make it a priority, make yourself a priority. Don’t go to the dance if you don’t want to; don’t play the game you don’t believe in. Strengthen those emotions that give way to the faces and the voices. Stand in the essence of you with a self-assurance that cannot be denied. 

 

Where Are the Giant Slayers? ( A Clarion Call to Youth)

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Apostolic, Christian, Education, faith, future, Holiness, inner strength, Inspiration, Jesus Christ, Ministry, Motivation, Overcoming, Pentecostal, Personal Growth, Purpose, self confidence, Youth

"Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of  God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their  faith." ~ Hebrews 13:7

Young people ...

You were bought with a great price. Know the value of your salvation,  your life, your heritage, your inheritance in God. Don't squander your  worth, your calling, your salvation, your eternal existence.

God hath need of you.

A younger generation needs you to be an example of holiness and  godliness in behavior, conversation, representation, and  leadership. The devil is still walking about as a roaring lion. And  unfortunately he is devouring youth leaders, your calling, your  witness, your example, your very life.

Choose God in your youth. Get serious about your salvation, your walk  with God, your place in Him.  These are indeed the last days, people,  young or old, are not enduring sound doctrine, are not holding firm to  the standards of the holy faith, but it is still what God requires. You will never lose anything by giving your life to God. You always gain greater. You must not be blinded or distracted by the failures of others, the images of the world, the reality show drama nightmares that are distortions of a quality life in God or otherwise. Don't compromise your entire future with a present moment experience, influence or poor judgment.

Where are the giant slayers of this generation?  The Josephs, Ruths, Davids, Josiahs, Marys ... Who give birth to Promise, the Timothys?  (Josiah was 8 years old when he became King in  Jerusalem 2 Chronicles 34:1-2 Josiah was eight years old when he began  to reign,  and he reigned thirty-one years in Jerusalem. And he did what was right  in the eyes of the LORD, and walked in the ways of David his father;  and he did not turn aside to the right hand or to the left.)

Giant slayers, where are you?

YOU ARE the King's Daughers, Prophets and Priests, Dreamers and Visionaries, Altar and Temple builders. World and Kingdom Leaders.

God hath need of you!