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I’ve done so much.
I’ve come so far.
Then the reality test of whether your commitment is greater than the novelty of when you first began.
Mind games.
I recently had a consult with a personal trainer, two as a matter of fact. All of my success was smacked in the face with real numbers of my BMR (basal metabolic rate), BMI (body mass index), fat weight to muscle weight ratio, you’ve been doing well with this, but you need to incorporate this, your goal will take this much time and more commitment is needed in this area. All good to know, but it echoes ‘not enough’.
Working out, pushing myself, stretching myself, embarrassing myself, fighting.
Mind games.
A plateau, not necessarily a weight loss plateau, but a mental plateau.
Mind games.
Throwing a wrench into my gears, locking and pulling at my resolve.
I’m there. On a plateau of performance anxiety, perfectionism, irresolution.
All the encouragement I hear, why isn’t it enough?
Meltdowns at the thought of not succeeding, seeping into my determined core. I fight back the tears, I won’t be defeated.
Mind games.
Yes, I said it before (wrote about it too, https://simplyphenomenal.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/fight/)*, I know it is true, this is a spiritual battle, not just a physical one.
So, here I am, at a place, needing God to elevate my mind to yet another, HIGHER plain.
This writing is definitely for me, I’m writing through it, writing for a breakthrough.
Seven months into the journey.
I’ve done so much.
I’ve come so far.
I’m more than a conqueror through Him Who LOVES me.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
With God, all things are possible.
Adopting this …
‘We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought (mind games) and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.’ – 2 Corinthians 10:5 (MSG)

*I find it so interesting that the link I referenced to a past blog post, I wrote on the first day of my journey … God took me back to where I began to speak to me now. Love Him for that.